Time is Relevant
by ocean.sunset
Summary: Professor Snape makes Draco and Hermione Potions partners. But due to their lack of cooperation, their potion backfires and explodes all over them, causing awful results. They both shrink back to babies, and then start growing extremely quickly. So quickl
1. They're BABIES!

**Summary: Professor Snape makes Draco and Hermione Potions partners. But due to their lack of cooperation, their potion backfires and explodes all over them, causing awful results. They both shrink back to babies, and then start growing extremely quickly. So quickly that they will die within a week if Snape doesn't come up with an antidote.**

**Chapter One**

Hermione couldn't believe it. She really couldn't. She always knew the Potions Master was a 'slimy git' (as Ron would say) but she never knew he despised her _this _much.

She glared up at him and stared into his dark, cold, empty black eyes. This man didn't have a heart, she was sure of it.

"Is there a problem, Miss Granger?" Snape asked, smirking.

Hermione gritted her teeth. How could she have defended him once before, in her first year? This man was obviously incapable of feeling. "Of course not, _Professor_."

The Potions Master glared down at her. Why was she always so annoyingly polite? "Such cheek! Five points from Gryffindor." He walked off, his ever-present black-cloak billowing.

"Class," said Snape when he reached the front of the class. "I am going to test you. You learned the Shrinking Solution in your third year, and should have memorized the ingredients off by heart by now. Complete the potion and I will grade you on them. For those of you who were never, shall I say, _gifted _in the art of potion making—" here he glared at poor Neville "—I suggest you say goodbye to your grades."

Hermione wished she could help poor Neville. If only she was paired off with him. Instead, Neville was paired off with Pansy Parkinson, a pug-faced Slytherin girl who wanted to switch places with Hermione just as much as Hermione wanted switch places her.

But no, poor Hermione was left with her selected Potions parter. Snape had deliberately paired Harry off with Goyle, Ron with Crabbe, and Hermione with –urgh –Malfoy, arrogant, self-centered, Muggle-born-hating prude of Hogwarts. Snape knew that Hermione could easily shut Crabbe or Goyle up with a witty comment, and also that his favourite student enjoyed teasing and taunting the Muggle-born most of the Golden Trio.

Draco Malfoy knew it too. He loved making fun of her disgusting, impure lineage, and seeing that look of utter resentment of her face. It was great satisfaction.

"Look," Hermione said angrily. "Let's just get this over with quickly. I want an O, and you better not mess with the potion to make me get any lower than that."

"Shut up, Granger," he spat at her. "This is my potion too, and therefore, my grade. And what makes you think I get anything other than Os? I'm just as smart as you are, _Mudblood, _if not smarter."

"Yes, that's why _you're _top in the year, isn't it?" retorted Hermione sarcastically. Usually she never gloated like this, but Malfoy was always an exception. She hated his self-absorbed attitude, and felt that if he was put down more, his ego would be deflated a bit. "Anyway, we shouldn't be wasting time. Let's get started."

She started work immediately.

Draco, who was very annoyed with her Know-It-All attitude, started to add in some ingredients as well. The both of them were acting as if the other wasn't there; as if they were working on the potion all by themselves.

After a few minutes, where their bright, acid green potion was supposed to be, was a bright red potion, bubbling and fizzing.

"What have you done to my potion, you witch!" bellowed Draco. This caught the attention of the rest of the class.

"_I've _done! What have _you _done!"

"I added the ingredients, what else, Mudblood?"

A few people gasped. Harry and Ron leapt up off of their seats. Hermione ignored the comment. "What! _I _added the ingredients!"

Snape made his way to the two of them. He was about to tell them to keep quiet when Draco yelled back, "You're saying we added _two times _the amount of ingredients? How thick _are _you, Mudblood!"

"Me! You should have been paying attention! Look at our potion! It's all wrong! We're not getting Os, and it's all _your _fault!"

"Miss Granger, I will not tolerate this display of immaturity and irresponsibility," said Snape icily. "Twenty points from Gryffindor and two week's detention. As for you, Mr Malfoy, I am very disappointed. Ten points from Slytherin." Snape walked away.

Harry, Ron and Hermione were outraged. Hermione just couldn't help but think, '_Ten points from Slytherin? That's it! _I _got lost _twenty _points for Gryffindor _and _got two week's detention! This is a clear sign of favouritism! It's unfair! This man is unbelievable!'_

Draco, however, was smiling smugly. Then he saw their potion, which was bubbling and fizzing more than ever. It was making hissing and spitting noises.

"Malfoy, you insolent—"

"Forget that, Granger!" said Draco, in a voice so urgent that even in her temper Hermione was inclined to listen. "The potion's gonna blow!"

Just as he said that, their Shrinking Solution gone-wrong exploded and splat all over the both of them.

-

"Blimey!" exclaimed Ron as he and Harry to where the potion had exploded all over Hermione and Malfoy. "Hermione!"

"Hermione?" said Harry softly.

A crowd quickly gathered around where Draco and Hermione should have been. Some people gasped, some people swore. Everyone was in shock.

Where Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger should have been, were two very small, very tiny _babies. _

**A/N: Ooh, cliffy! Once Again, I apologize for deleting 'Anonymously Yours'. But I hope you guys enjoy this one too. I know it's a very short chapter, but I promise if I get lots of reviews, I'll update soon _and _submit longer chappies. So review!**

**Thanks a bunch! windsinger257.**


	2. The Arrangement

**A/N: Thanks to all my lovely reviewers! All of you rock! Anyway, as my thanks, here's another chappie. Oh, and if you're wondering why Dumbledore's here, this is in their fifth year. So he hasn't died yet. And neither has Sirius! Yipee! Okay, sorry. Here you are.**

**Disclaimer (I forgot to do it for the first chappie!): I do not own any of the characters you see in this fanfic. They all belong to J.K. Rowling. But the plot is _mine_! Heh.**

**Chapter Two**

**: Flashback:**

"_Malfoy, you insolent—"_

"_Forget that, Granger!" said Draco, in a voice so urgent that even in her temper Hermione was inclined to listen. "The potion's gonna blow!"_

_Just as he said that, their Shrinking Solution gone-wrong exploded and splat all over the both of them_.

_-_

"_Blimey!" exclaimed Ron as he and Harry to where the potion had exploded all over Hermione and Malfoy. "Hermione!"_

"_Hermione?" said Harry softly._

_Where Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger should have been, were two very small, very tiny babies._

**:End of Flashback:**

When he saw the two babies there instead of Hermione and Draco, Ron yelled, "What the hell happened?"

"Silence, Weasley," said Snape. He pushed his way to the front of the crowd and stared down at the two babies. He bent down on one knee and peered at them. After a few seconds, he got up and said, "Potter, Weasley. Get Professor Dumbledore."

Harry and Ron left the class immediately. Once out of earshot, they started talking.

"What do you think happened, Harry?" asked Ron.

Harry looked thoughtful. "Well, it _is _a Shrinking Solution…Maybe something went wrong."

"That bastard Malfoy probably did something to it," said Ron angrily, clenching his fists. "Well, look where that got him. Serves him right."

Just then, they stopped. They reached the stone gargoyle which was the entrance into Dumbledore's office. Harry looked at Ron. "Any idea what the password is?"

"Don't look at me, mate," Ron said, shrugging.

Harry looked at the gargoyle. "Uhh…Sugar quill?"

The gargoyle didn't move.

"We don't have time for this!" said Ron in frustration, wringing his hands.

"Mr. Weasley, what is the problem?" said a voice from behind. Harry and Ron turned around. Sure enough, there was Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling behind the ever-present half-moon glasses.

"Sir, it's Hermione and Malfoy," said Harry quickly. "Something went wrong with their Shrinking Solution in Potions, and it—"

"Exploded all over them and now they're BABIES!" finished Ron rather hysterically.

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. "My, what an awful predicament," he said. "Let us not waste anymore time than what has been wasted already. We must see how Professor Snape is with them."

Without another word, he started walking very quickly towards the Potions classroom, Harry and Ron at his heels.

-

Back in the Potions classroom, the two babies were getting a lot of attention. All the students were playing with the recently-altered Draco and Hermione while waiting for Dumbledore to arrive. Snape couldn't do anything but stare down at them with disgust and contempt.

Just then, Dumbledore walked into the classroom.

Snape walked up to him and said, "Professor, something happened to their Shrinking Solution. It erupted and spilt onto Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger. I'm afraid I've run out of the antidote, Headmaster."

"Could you brew some more soon, Severus?" asked Dumbledore.

"Of course, Headmaster," said Severus. "But it will take a few days."

"If you could start brewing it as soon as possible, it would be greatly appreciated, I am sure."

"Of course, Professor." With that, Snape left the classroom through a door in the back from which he always entered at the start of each class.

Dumbledore then turned to Harry and Ron, who were both still standing behind him. "I'm afraid you two will have to look after Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger for the time being."

"WHAT?" asked Ron, rather loudly. "Sorry," he said, his ears turning pink.

After elbowing Ron in the ribs, Harry asked, "Professor, we'll take care of Hermione. Can't you ask the Slytherins to look after Malfoy?"

"I'm afraid not, Harry," said Dumbledore kindly. "The Slytherin students will not be able to take care of him as well as you two will be able to. They're a bit too—"

"Dim," muttered Ron.

Harry was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

Dumbledore smiled good-naturedly down at Harry and Ron.

Harry said, "Okay, Professor, we'll look after them."

Dumbledore's smile broadened. "Thank you, boys. And this arrangement won't last long. Probably around a couple of days while Professor Snape is brewing the potion. After that, everything will be back to how it was."

-

After magicking Draco and Hermione into diapers and shirts (a green shirt for Draco and a red one for Hermione), Harry carried Draco and Ron carried Hermione back to the Gryffindor common room. Ron absolutely _refused _to carry Draco, so Harry had to carry him.

When they walked in, all the Gryffindors stared. Then there was a buzz of excitement as everyone started rushing towards Harry, Ron, and the two adorable babies.

Harry and Ron let the people play with them for a while, as it got the babies off their backs. The two of them left Hermione and Draco to the crowd and went to sit beside the fire to play a game of Exploding Snap.

Then suddenly, there was no crowd around Hermione and Draco. When Harry and Ron went to them, a foul stench met their noses.

"Ugh! What the hell is that?" asked Ron, pinching his nose.

Harry winced and pinched his nose too. "I think they had a poop."

Ron stared at Harry in disbelief. "You're kidding. What do we do now?"

Harry winced again and said, "Well, in the Muggle world, we'd have to change their diapers."

Ron let out a half-laugh and said, "Oh, so _that's _what you call those things!" Then he scrunched up his face like he always does when he's scared or disgusted. "Thank God for magic."

**A/N: Well, that's it for now. I know that was really short as well, but I didn't have time to make it longer as my sister was shoving me off the computer. Sorry. I hope you read the author's note at the top of the page. If you didn't, I'll save you the trouble of scrolling up. It said Dumbledore's still alive because at the moment, Harry and everybody else is in their fifth year at Hogwarts, so Dumbledore (and Sirius, at the moment) isn't dead. Yay!**

**Please review, thanks.**


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